How to Deal With Rude Middle School Parents

Teachers Need to Remain Professional With an Aggressive Parent

Oct 31, 2009

A rude, aggressive or intimidating parent can make the life of a teacher difficult. However, teachers need to remain professional and to keep the focus on the student.

When middle school students are struggling in a class, the number one defense for a teacher is to contact the parents or care givers for support. However, surprising, some of the parents can be rude. A few will aggressively blame the teacher for the student's low grades or disruptive behavior. And, surprisingly, one might even threaten the teacher with bodily harm.

Dealing With Rude Parents

Some parents' reaction to the teacher's call or email may be one of rudeness. The parent may respond with a comment that the child has good grades in other classes, so the problem must lie with the teacher and not the student. They may place the blame squarely on the teacher and not their child.

This type of parent obviously has a poor opinion of the teacher. The teacher should try to ascertain why the parent feels this way. Many times the child is telling the parents at home a different story than what is happening in the classroom. Or, the parent has talked to another disgruntled parent and is relying on this parent's opinion to form their own.

Use Facts and Constant Follow-up

The way to turn this parent around is with constant follow-up and facts. If the child is misbehaving in class, the teacher needs to make a log sheet with specific details of the child's disruptive behavior. A behavior contract should be made with the parents and the child. Every day that the child misbehaves, the teacher needs to make contact with the parent and keep a log of this contact.

If the child's grades are low, the teacher needs to send home weekly progress reports. The teacher needs to communicate daily through email, agenda books or phone calls. Keeping constant contact with the parents until the grades are raised will help to change the parent's attitude.

Changing Parent Attitudes

Usually, when the facts are clear, many parents will try to work with the teacher when they see that the teacher is not "picking on" their child. If the parents continue to be rude and professionalism has been maintained, make the principal aware of their behavior. If the parents continue to be rude, a principal should be present when a conference is called. Unfortunately, some people will continue to be rude and there is no way to change their behavior. On the bright side, the child can improve even when the parents continue to be rude.

Parents Who Threaten Teachers

If a parent verbally threatens to harm a teacher, the principal and the resource officer need to be made aware of this threat immediately. Follow school policy. Usually, this is a matter for the police.

Teachers who have to deal with parents who try to intimidate or who act rudely is not a pleasant experience. The key is to act in a professional way. Maintaining this professionalism will not be easy, but it is the best way to model appropriate behavior for the student and even the parents.

The copyright of the article How to Deal With Rude Middle School Parents in Middle School is owned by Kellie Hayden. Permission to republish How to Deal With Rude Middle School Parents in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.