How to Support my Middle Schooler
5 Steps to Building a Supportive Team for Academic Success
Aug 27, 2007
"Coming together is a beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success."
- Henry Ford
Vision for the School Year
Is academic achievement at the top of the list or will this be the year your child breaks out of his social shell? Will your family grow closer or more distant as they face the challenges of another school year? Who will guide your child’s development?
A vision defines a direction towards a goal. Realizing a vision requires support from a motivated group of individuals; a team of people who ban together through adversity, acknowledge achievement and inspire motivation.
Who’s on Your Team?
According to the United States Census Bureau today’s generation of school-age children spends the majority of their waking hours in the care of someone other than their parents. Given the influence that teachers, coaches, mentors and extended family members have on a child’s development the necessity for building a relationship with this group of people has never been greater. Creating a team of focused and motivated individuals who will continually support the ongoing growth of your child requires a new set of parenting skills.
5 Steps to Building Your Support Team
- Create a roster. Who will impact your child’s life this year? Begin by creating a list of the adults who will connect with your child during the first month of school. Teachers, school administrators, coaches, mentors and extended family members are common additions to most team rosters.
- Position the players. With a completed team roster identify when and where your child will see these critical people. Teachers and school personnel typically fall within a specified seven hour time block on a regular Monday through Friday schedule. However the afterschool hours are equally important. Identifying who will supervise your child beyond the conclusion of the school day creates an accurate picture of your child’s life and the role that each adult will play this year.
- Connect. The beginning of a school year marks the start to many new relationships. During the first few weeks of school take 2-minutes to communicate with each person on your roster. Send a written note, email message or share a quick conversation in person. The message to convey is short yet sincere, “Hi, I just wanted you to know how excited I am to have you in my child’s life this year.” This quick introduction sends a powerful message to everyone on your team about the importance of their role on your team.
- Check-in. Don’t wait until a problem arises to initiate a conversation. Every 2-3 weeks check-in with each of the people on your roster. Start the conversation with, “How are you?” and then let the discussion flow from there. Beginning with an open-ended question allows the conversation about your child to evolve naturally. Leading questions like, “How was her behavior today?” or “Were there any problems?” bring immediate focus to a potentially negative set of comments that result in creating greater distance between parents and key adults in their child’s life. The opportunity to share positive comments or questions is lost amidst the negativity.
- Celebrate. Reaching milestones and achieving goals is cause for celebration. Placing a quick call to your child’s teacher after the conclusion of class play or project shows acknowledgment and appreciation—two characteristics of supportive teams. The more often team members celebrate together the stronger the relationship grows.
Middle school takes a new set of skills and a team of people to support you. Additional tips for starting the new year.
